Inside-Out (Party)

Tonight is the first time I've made Connor laugh in days.  That sentence makes me sad.  Before today it had been at least four days since I heard that chime-y little belly laugh, the one that starts as a face paralyzed in laughter and rounds out with the escape of a laugh from his mouth, trickling out into little giggles.  It seems like such an easy thing to do - to get a baby to laugh - but there was a trip to Michigan, Mother's Day celebrating with my mom and sister, the drive home, work, and a grouchy baby ready to go to sleep after picking him up from daycare...all excuses of things that got in the way of getting and giving that priceless joy.  I'm going all Hallmark on you, but my day exists solely to make the pilgrimage through the work day so I can pick up Z and we can go get 'Rad from Amy's and be together (and not at work).

Babyproofing?  What's that?

I've been thinking about the life cycle and our places on our individual life continuums.  Seeing Connor is a constant reminder of how little and young we all start and talking with my parents and thinking of my own position is a reminder of checkpoints along the way.   I can't decide if this is a comforting thought or not.  The thought of Connor growing makes me excited and sad at the same time.  Thinking of where I am in my life at my age makes me uncertain and proud.  These thoughts can be triggered at something as slight as walking through the kids clothes section at Target, finding a pair of 'Rad's socks in my purse, or seeing a status update on Facebook.  All of this may have been triggered by a notice I got in the mail about Connor's 9-month appointment.  Nine months!  It's almost time to throw an inside-out party.  

In almost nine months Connor has learned to almost crawl, to almost say "dada," and to almost sign for more (actually, he's not close to that at all.  Instead, he's created a new sign for it, it's called opening your mouth really wide when asked if you want more).  In almost nine months I've learned how to hold a baby and do lots of things except for go to the bathroom.  That seems like a most important skill.  Is it even possible?

What I learned today: I'm terrible at learning from mistakes.  Now seems like a really good time to pay more attention!