Saturday, December 17, 2011

Settling in on Saturday

I woke up to the season's first layer of snow, a happy hubby, a very vocal baby, and a Blue Boy on the bed with me.  After having a cup of coffee and hanging out on the couch, we headed out and were running errands from 10 this morning until 3:30 this afternoon.  Let's see how we fared on checking things off our to-do list:

  • Get diapers for 'Rad (I'm afraid that he'll soon be moving up to size 2s and we'll be left with two half-opened boxes of diapers - one at home and one at Amy's) Big ole' box of size 1s purchased
  • Get 'Rad's first Christmas pictures taken with Santa (preferably a nice, non-mall, relatively clean Santa) Going to do this on Monday at the Dane County Human Society Fundraiser
  • Finish putting plastic on the windows Hope to accomplish this tomorrow
  • Start getting things together for our trip home for the holidays Emptied the new diaper box and started putting things in it
  • Organize my Avon order, make deliveries, and mail out a few catalogs (want one?  Just let me know!) Thought about organizing my order, scheduled a delivery tomorrow, and will mail the catalogs out on Monday (uh, I will only wait so long at a post office)
  • Go grocery shopping Check!
  • Get a hair cut (I think a new 'do is in order) Double check (and it's sassy! (that's obviously not me in the photo))
  • Take a shower (yes, that needs to be put on the list.  Nowadays, taking a bath feels like an admittedly sporadic luxury) Done
  • Finish the last cross stitch, frame all three, and wrap them up holiday-style Not done, not done, and also not done
  • Order and pick up copies of our annual staged holiday photo Chizzeck
  • Write our end-of-the year Christmas card letter One sentence written
  • Get holiday stamps See comment above regarding mailing out Avon catalogs
  • Take the last three items, stuff them into or apply them onto an envelope along with our Christmas cards, and mail them off into the wild blue yonder.  Or off to MI and CO, at least Hope to get this done on Monday
  • Will my breakout to go away Does bothering my pimples count?
  • Trim 'Rad's nails Just got him down for his first real nap of the day.  Right now, his nails are the least of my worries
  • Give the dog a bath Maybe tonight?
  • Find Z a Christmas gift (so far the only request he's given me was for a Shop Vac.  Needless to say, I'm not giddy with excitement about buying one, but if that's what he wants...) Not done yet

  • As great as it was to get so much done and check things off of the list, 'Rad suffered for it.  We completely threw him off of his schedule, so this evening he was fussy and wouldn't go down for his nap.  He just fell asleep 10 minutes ago after catching maybe  two hour's worth of Zs today.  

    But we made an important decision today, and one that seems completely obvious now that we see it: To stick as close to Connor's schedule as possible, not matter what we have planned.  I don't want him to be a complete slave to his schedule, as I don't want to be either, but I know that that's selfish and that he's a baby who needs routine and that he's a Virgo who cries for the same.  So instead of just flying by the seat of our pants with the only framework being that he eats every 3 hours, we'll try to make sure that he eats at the same time every day.  If he gets a little off we'll try to get him back on schedule.  We'll try to play with him and do our tummy time and read our books around the same time every day.  We'll try to put him down for his naps around the same time every day.  Pretty commonsensical, right?  Yeah, I don't have a lot of that.

    When days like this happen, I worry that I'm purposefully depriving his baby brain and body of the essential sleep they need to grow big, strong, and smart.  These days don't happen too often, but are they happening often enough to have some lasting effect?  When I voiced this concern to Z, his response was, "If I had a nickel for every concern of yours..."  My retort: "If I had a nickel for every concern of mine that wasn't a concern of yours..."  I think we're a good yin and yang in life and for 'Rad.  As crazy as I may sound, I think I've come a long way since his days as a newborn and I hope to continue to move to the middle ground.  Actually, I'd be ok if I don't make it to the middle ground as long as I find the confidence and make solid decisions about how I want to raise the 'Rado.

    I think I may be a long way from getting that confidence in being a mother and in being myself, but those are goals that I'm consciously working towards.  My new 'do is a step towards, as Z said, getting my groove back.  I hit a little rough patch there, and I'm not out of the woods yet, but my goal is, whenever those rough patches hit and throughout my whole life, to always come out a little further ahead each time I rebound.  I think I'm a bit of an optimist, so raise a glass!

    1 comment:

    hollymade said...

    My husband and I are the same way-I'm the one who always has these little worries about what we might be doing to screw up our kid, and he's always like, eh, whatever. And as the little guy is 2 years old now, I am pretty comfortable saying that those little things didn't screw him up, and some of my worries are laughable looking back at them. It's hard in the moment to get past the worry though.