Thursday, January 24, 2013


Sometimes I can't get over how much of Connor's life I'm missing.  Yes, I have to work.  Yes, I have to go to school.  And (unfortunately) yes, the laundry must be done and the house must be cleaned.  I don't mean for these things to trump the time I have with my little man, but somehow all the chores and errands have to coexist with story time, playing with trucks time, and most definitely with fawning over 'Rado time.  I'm still not sure how.  With my wonky work schedule, there are times during the week that I don't see Connor for a day and a half.  When we're reunited, it feels like it's been days upon days since we were together last.  I can tell Connor feels the same by the way he clings to me, and these days I don't have the heart to give either of us much space.  I'm walking the fine line between affection and push-over-dom.  Is that the line we always walk?  It may be the one I choose to take for now.

Connor received two sets of alphabet magnets for Christmas and make this masterpiece today.  It's a perfect abstraction of how my mind feels some days.  On other days, it's pretty much a letter-for-letter representation of the jumble of words that escape my mouth while trying to have a conversation.  On worse days, it may be both.  My goal is to work on those letters and form them into full, fulfilled thoughts and intelligent words.  I used to be like that (I think).  Is this the infamous "mommy brain" striking?  Our bodies change with babies, but only gawd knows the magnitude of how much our brains change in the process.

Speaking of letters, 'Rad is going through a word explosion these days.  Today he said "ball," his favorite toy.  Best part is, he says it with a southern drawl so it sounds like "bawhl."  The other day my mom said he repeated after her when she said "flower." "Cheese" is his favorite word to whip out when he's feeling snacky, and, ok, so that's all he's said so far but it seems like an explosion to me, damnit.  He is also nodding his head more.  Since we dubbed him the Magic 8 Ball for his quick responses to any question my family throws at him, it will be nice to get a "Yes," "It is decidedly so," or an "Outlook Good," as opposed to the hearty "Outlook is not good" responses he was doling out.  (Yes, I went to Wikipedia for those 8-ball answers.  I know someone out there would know all of those without thinking twice)

The little man has also been getting his groove on a lot.  The jungle tune that his push lion plays and the happy diddy that his ball-popping dragon spouts get his little baby booty bouncing.  He's also good at the sway and will happily join in if we start an impromptu dance circle in the kitchen, which has been known to happen.  One more thing about how cool this kid is: Tonight while putting him to bed, he gave happy little giggles when we gave him his teddy bear and blanket.  The kid was so excited to go to sleep.  Ok, done bragging for now.

Nothing gets you moving like a pre-programmed keyboard tune

As for me, I haven't learned any new words or dance moves.  'Rado has the market on interesting and exciting things happening around the house.  I'm just here, hanging out, being tired.

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