We're here. Last night was the first night we all slept in our new house and it's already beginning to feel like home in spite of the piles of boxes and packing paper cluttering every room and spilling into the hallway. It's unnerving, how comfortable I already feel. Sure sure, moving back to our hometown isn't really charting new territory, but returning to such familiar territory after so long can be just as disorienting as going somewhere completely unfamiliar.
There's still a lot of adjusting to be done. Today was the first time I went to the grocery store since we moved; we'd been sustaining ourselves on fast food, bottles of water, and the cookies provided to us from some very welcoming neighbors. It felt nice to just go to the grocery store. It was so normal and routine. Today we moved the dining room table into the dining room so Connor isn't sitting in his booster seat on the kitchen floor with Blue Boy hoovering, ready to catch that next stray crumb (or the whole cracker) from 'Rado's mouth. We also set Connor's room up and read him his bedtime book before putting him down for the night for the first time since we moved. Little by little we are piecing together our routines and lives here, something we're all starving for after days of chaos.
I haven't had much time to wrestle with anything emotional. Our days have been filled with moving boxes, pieces of furniture, carrying around a decreasingly confused but still somewhat distraught 'Rad, visiting with family, and taking showers. It's nice to be more action and less thought after the long period of mental self-torture that preceded our move. I'd like my life here to be more action so that I can save all of my thinking for class and not second-guessing myself or my parenting.
I'll admit that at this point I'm not sure if 'Rad is down to eating every 4 hours of if we feed him every 3. Sometimes he takes 1 nap a day, but on a couple of days he's taken 2. It's a good thing that I hit up the grocery store today because otherwise we would continue to feed him puffs, the blueberries that have survived from a fruit bowl Z's mom had waiting for us when we moved, and milk. I could easily feel guilty about all of this, but somehow I don't. My baby has been eating and drinking well. He's been getting his sleep and got a clean bill of health at his 1-year checkup today. He's safe, loved, and seems to be handling this whole mess with as much patience and grace as can be expected from a dude who just turned over 365 days of life. 'Rado, thank you for understanding. And if you don't understand, thank you for at least being cool about the whole thing.
Pictures and more updates to come!