Thursday, June 21, 2012

What Was I Going to Say?

I'd like to tell you about something amazing that 'Rad did, or maybe that I did.  But I can't possibly because nothing worth the label of "amazing" has occurred, but more likely because I've forgotten it.  I'm forgetting a lot.  It's not even worth asking me if I remember x or z; I'm even considering carrying around a Post-It pad like my own private dunce cap.  In the same turn I'm amazed at the things I do remember, the minute details and the peripheral effects that I act on and can recall.

Whatchu lookin' at?

Forgetting things is only half of the issue.  The other part is just not caring.  Not because I truly don't care, but because I feel the need to reserve my energy.  That means coordinated outfits, tidy hairdos, and unwrinkled clothes are not on the docket any day of the week.  If I managed to pull off one of these things, rest assured that by noon that day I will have yanked off my cardigan, my hair will be frazzled, and my pants will be wrinkled.  There's some liberation in this, but scenes from my own personal episode of "What Not to Wear" are starting to form in the back of my mind.

It's so strange to me that no one in my family has seen Connor since he's started crawling.  It feels like he's been mobile for long enough that that shouldn't be the case.  Wisconsin is a place where families live close to each other and it's difficult that mine isn't here (Dear Mom and Papa, please learn how to receive text messages on your fancy phones.  I know that you know how to turn on the computer (well, as least one of you does), but I'm skeptical about your e-mail picture-viewing capabilities.  Love you, Jojo).  Z keeps using the phrase "game changer" when talking to other people about the 'Rado, and he is so right.  Everything has changed.  When and how I wake up has changed - I'm "lucky" if I wake up to my alarm and not Connor whining.  When and how I eat has changed - 'Rad eats first, I try to eat decently afterwards.  When and how I work has changed - I'm trying to beat my always-5-minutes-late rep and my mind is no longer solely focused on work.  Is there anything that can remain untouched after having a baby?  I'm not putting a judgement call on this, just asking the question.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

LOL the answer to your question is NO! It all changes...and continues to evolve. You learn to roll with the punches and predict in advance which days will require an extra caffeinated beverage (or 10) to make it through. Eventually you hit on that this is the 'norm' and fondly reminisce about how once upon a time you slept in until noon and your morning headache was the result of too much late night fun the night before and not due to teething, sickness, growth spurt, etc. Suddenly we turned into our parents! When you curse the neighbor for loud music at C's'll know you're there. :) xoxoxoxo