Monday, February 20, 2012

Inner Workings

I recently learned of the existence of a magazine called Working Mother. It seems to be geared more towards "successful" working women than ladies in my economic and professional demographic, but I was excited to browse it just the same. It's incredible to me that so many women can walk around, functioning like normal human beings, while I flounder through work and home life, all of my thoughts consumed by my gummy bear. When he's older, I don't doubt that I'll welcome any breaks I can get from unending rounds of "But why? But why? But why?" that he's sure to inundate me with.  But for now, I can't get enough of my squishy baby. Sorry if I'm getting too ooshy on you, but I think about that kid when I'm at work and practically have to sit on my hands when thinking about 'Rado to keep them from grasping the air where I imagine his cheeks being.

This weekend we tried something radical and borderline crazy - we took 'Rad out of the carseat when we went into the grocery store. Let that sink in.  He was actually awake when we arrived at the store, so we put the Floppy Seat down in the cart, put his little legs through the holes, and navigated through the produce section while he slowly pimp-leaned to the left.

You could practically see his mind being blown from all of the noises, motion, and colors swirling around and past him as people reached for herbs and veggies around his stunned little body. It became too much for him after the first few aisles, so we ended up turning the cart seat into a lounger, which he seemed to like just fine.

Earlier in the day I took him out to breakfast with me and a couple of ex co-workers. He Floppy-Seated like a champion, entertaining himself, throwing toys on the floor, and sitting properly while the ladies talked.  It was a monumental event and one that he was up for.  And when we left the restaurant, I imagined future outings with Connor actually vertical, interacting, and observing instead of people needing to peek in at him in his car seat, his head getting flatter, the world confined to the two chimes hanging from his car seat handle.  It's moments like that that make me think, Kairos.

I had a chance to read a few pages of the Buddhist tome that I've been working at for the past couple of months, and it effectively calmed my bad self down after just a couple of paragraphs.  Since time doesn't really allow me to indulge myself in old hobbies or pleasures, the only chance to relax seems to be to take a mental vacation, regardless of where my body is.  I've barely scratched the surface of how this is done, but giving myself a break from all of the things that I think will make life better is just...ahhh.  And when can you ever get enough ahhh in your life?

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