But then I wonder, when do I get to find my center again? And what will get me there? I've thought about yoga (which I've dabbled in but never latched on to), running (which I love to do but can't figure out how to fit it in), knitting (which I don't have the focus for), and working out (again, scheduling issue). I'd really like to pick up at least two of those four, but when I think about doing any of them I'm either doing work around the house and don't have enough energy for any of it or I sit back down on the couch, exhausted by the thought alone. I think I would benefit from meditating or yoga the most at this point since I'm such a tight ball of nerves and worry. When I imagine myself in corpse pose though, breathing in and out to some sitar music, I just imagine the anxiety I'll feel just waiting for 'Rad to wake up from a nap and derail me on my journey to zen. Whenever I'm around 'Rad and he's sleeping I always feel anxious about him waking up. I'm not sure why, since I love playing with him and being with him so much. Another weird Jojo mommy-ism on my part, I'm sure.
So today, Amy and I decided to move 'Rad to a twice-a-day napping schedule when he's with her. I was convinced that teething was what was making him so cranky and irritable, but maybe I'm wrong. He took two great naps today (yes!) and was a lot of fun when I got him home. Having a baby is like trying to balance a scale. Make one wrong move, shake one side of the scale a little too much or put one gram of too much weight on one side and everything gets thrown off - you and baby. Right now, the balancing act is making me cautious and nervous. I hope that in time it will make me, well, more balanced and confident in my ability to play with the scales a bit.
INSERT FIRST PICTURE WITH SANTA HERE
We got 'Rad's first pictures with Santa yesterday and it was a success! He didn't cry and he barely fidgeted. But he didn't really smile or coo either. He was cautiously sizing Santa up, and that worked just fine for us and the camera. I was hoping to have those pictures on hand to show you. Soon, my pretties!
To keep your interest, I feel like I need to insert some picture here. So, I'm going with this year's holiday picture, inserted in every Christmas card that we sent out. On Monday. I think that's an improvement on last year when we didn't send any out at all. Without further ado...