Tuesday, December 20, 2011

5 More Days 'Til Christmas!

Zach is out skiing right now.  There isn't an abundance of snow (or any snow, really), but he wanted to help our friend Andy warm up on the slopes before heading to Colorado in a few weeks.  Skiing has always been Z's escape, his form of meditation.  He's always the most excited before, the most focused during, and the most relaxed after a day or a few hours shushing downhill.  I'm glad that he has this opportunity to find his center again.

But then I wonder, when do I get to find my center again?  And what will get me there?  I've thought about yoga (which I've dabbled in but never latched on to), running (which I love to do but can't figure out how to fit it in), knitting (which I don't have the focus for), and working out (again, scheduling issue).  I'd really like to pick up at least two of those four, but when I think about doing any of them I'm either doing work around the house and don't have enough energy for any of it or I sit back down on the couch, exhausted by the thought alone.  I think I would benefit from meditating or yoga the most at this point since I'm such a tight ball of nerves and worry.  When I imagine myself in corpse pose though, breathing in and out to some sitar music, I just imagine the anxiety I'll feel just waiting for 'Rad to wake up from a nap and derail me on my journey to zen.  Whenever I'm around 'Rad and he's sleeping I always feel anxious about him waking up.  I'm not sure why, since I love playing with him and being with him so much.  Another weird Jojo mommy-ism on my part, I'm sure.

So today, Amy and I decided to move 'Rad to a twice-a-day napping schedule when he's with her.  I was convinced that teething was what was making him so cranky and irritable, but maybe I'm wrong.  He took two great naps today (yes!) and was a lot of fun when I got him home.  Having a baby is like trying to balance a scale.  Make one wrong move, shake one side of the scale a little too much or put one gram of too much weight on one side and everything gets thrown off - you and baby.  Right now, the balancing act is making me cautious and nervous.  I hope that in time it will make me, well, more balanced and confident in my ability to play with the scales a bit.

Coming soon!

We got 'Rad's first pictures with Santa yesterday and it was a success!  He didn't cry and he barely fidgeted.  But he didn't really smile or coo either.  He was cautiously sizing Santa up, and that worked just fine for us and the camera.  I was hoping to have those pictures on hand to show you.  Soon, my pretties!

To keep your interest, I feel like I need to insert some picture here.  So, I'm going with this year's holiday picture, inserted in every Christmas card that we sent out.  On Monday.  I think that's an improvement on last year when we didn't send any out at all.  Without further ado...


Tiffany said...

I really do love your blog. I feel your pain! It's nice to read about someone else going through the same stuff

KristinG said...

The holiday picture is AWESOME!! Love it so much...!! It's hard to find your center now because so much has changed...I am still searching for mine...Love you!!