Although it means I have to work on Saturday, I'm enjoying my Monday off. The dishes are washed, dinner is pre-cooking, and my homework is done. My mind is begging to be still even though my body knows there are toys to put away and mail to sort through. I'm going to let my mind win this time - it's time we stopped fighting with each other. Along those lines, I've broken one of my "rules": No coffee after 2:00 pm. I feel great about it. Am I really expected to sit in a vaccumed, quiet house without some caffeine? Didn't think so.
This weekend was perfect. We saw some old friends, got some big things done, and still spent some quality family time together. One of Connor's favorite after-dinner activities is to play football. His version involves holding one (or two) plush football and running at Z. Z responds by fake tackling him, taking him to the ground where they both erupt in laughter. Connor has even started saying "Hut hut!" It's almost too much.
That has been the centering that my soul has been searching for. It would have been great to do some yoga, pour my guts into a journal, or not let myself think of all that has yet to be done. Instead, I got to spend a great full weekend with Z and Rado eating good food, catching up, and laughing a lot. Connor and I are still struggling with wanting too much from each other, and sometimes one of us falls on the floor crying while the other only wishes she could do the same. But we're figuring it out. We're not giving up and we're only getting better and smarter. That's my goal, anyway.